Open Heart, Wide Open Wings

I started writing this blog post about a month into my Fall semester. I was writing this every day in my head. In this post, I talked about how I lifted my game and got an A grade in each course I took this semester.

This semester has been GOLDEN for me. I have grown - as a man and as a boy. The man in me has found purpose. The boy in me found wonder.

These five months of ever worsening Syracuse weather have borne deepening friendships, debilitating heartbreaks, emotional turmoil, unbreakable self-belief, a clarion call of my true calling, and yet through this rapid pace of Life - a sense of peace and calm and satisfaction.

I was depressed during the summer at my bad performance during the Spring 2008 semester. I knew - in that moment - there was only one thing that would provide happiness to me. It is a very fortuitous thing to know what you want, to know the path to your happiness. I was lucky that way.

And thus, there was only one thing in my mind: The look of pride in my Dad's eyes when I return home this Christmas.

My own focus alienated me at times, like I was taken over by a stranger - a foreigner in my own head. I bought books on how to do better in college, and though I was embarrassed about that initially, I let it all go. These few months has been a dogfight with my Ego. He's cool in his own way, but sometimes he needs a good kick up the ass. And he did get his butt red this sem.

I lost my job which hurt me, rather pricked me from time to time. Money flows in my life. What I mean by that is as it comes in, it goes out. I am not too up-to-date on the latest nifty savings plan. Money buys stuff, so get stuff! Well, without a job, I had to curtail my splurging which distressed me. I rode through that though. A nice little lesson learnt, I suppose.

I also started writing again. Which is fuckin fantastic, because it helps me a lot. I had quite a bit of distractions this semester, and I enjoyed all of them. I also joined ToastMasters while dabbling with 4 subjects, which is just the sort of thing I'd do.

Today, I called my Dad and told him I have 2 As and one A- on this sem's subjects. He said he was proud of me.